Sweet Chariot
by BigDamnHeros
Summary: Kel can't sleep, and so some quite contemplation is in order. K? read to find out! Please review.


A/N: hello, just a little one-shot to cure my writers block. I hope you like it. Please give me all the constructive criticism you feel is nessasary, but no flames please. They are absolutely useless. I hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters, and the situations in this story are fictional, and come from my own imagination. The song 'Sweet Chariot' belongs to Charlotte Martin.

It was so dark. She couldn't see anything. Well, not true, she could see black….some dark blue here and there that outlined a few large shapes. There, however her spectacular view ended. She couldn't sleep at all. Kel was seriously beginning to think she was a closet insomniac. Such darkness however, was useful for quiet contemplation, and since sleep wasn't coming anytime soon, that was exactly what she planned to do.

_Ode to joy,_

_my lover boy 's speakin' in tones,_

_and the sky's bleeding grey_

_Now I pull my,_

_bag of prayers out,_

_I hope to find one,_

_to save the day._

He wasn't next to her. He wouldn't be for at least another hour; he had what the two of them had nicknamed the 'Graveyard Watch'. She did miss him though, and the warmth his body provided, as they lay together, his arms wrapped around her. She missed him. She shivered slightly, and pulled the blankets closer to her.

They hadn't always been this way, so close, loving, comfortable; so routine in their lovemaking, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to them. There had been a few obstacles in their way. She remembered the first time something had happened between them, she had been so confused. His kisses had overwhelmed her, and she had to talk to him. Then came the part she hadn't expected: Him listening. He hadn't mocked her, as she confessed certain feelings she had been having for him. He merely smiled, and said, in that droll way of his:

"I suppose that means you won't mind if I kiss you again then? Because I have really wanted to do this for quite some time."

_And he judged my love, my lust, my taste,_

_with the straightest face._

_As I crumbled up,_

_inside a paper maché,_

_a shell with no name._

Then of course came the problem; because nothing in the life of Keladry of Mindelan could ever be simple. She got in the way. Kel never really understood what he saw in her when he stood her up against his former fiancé. She had been slight, fey-like, with sparkling eyes and beautiful hair, not a mark on her milk white skin. Whereas Kel, was far too tall, tanned, blocky and scarred. She had given up all hope of him ever wanting her. But oh, how she wanted him. But he seemed happy with his fiancé, and call her old fashioned, but Kel was firm in the belief that if you loved someone, you gave up everything you could to see them happy.

So she did.

_Sweet chariot,_

_come,_

_come,_

_take me away from my fears,_

_Sweet chariot,_

_come,_

_I,_

_have to get out of here._

She had said her farewells to everyone, everyone except him. She had decided to return to New Hope. She had purposely arranged it so that she wouldn't have to attend the wedding. Kel knew she was strong, but watching him promise to love someone forever, who wasn't her? Oh, Kel knew she was strong; but she was not strong enough for that. She rode Peachblossom out that night, hoping to be able to stay at an inn somewhere before she continued the long journey.

She thought of him, and then didn't want to, but did anyway. Remembering kisses that had shaken her to the core, and that had made her feel more loved that she had felt in a very long time.

_And he took me further than I wanted to go,_

_underneath his shoes._

_And it leaves my hungry for a,_

_touch I can't feel,_

_a touch he won't do._

_And I thought the circle,_

_it had an end,_

_I'm old enough to know,_

_my denial is how we began,_

_and how we will end,_

_and now that I know…_

She had tossed and turned that night, unable to sleep for thoughts of him. Aching to feel his touch, his kiss. Burning to see his eyes, his face. She needed him. That realization confirmed that she would be getting no sleep tonight. Kel had shot up from where she lay, breathing heavily. She had never accepted such a thing before. That she didn't just want him, but _needed_ him, like she needed air. And in that moment, Kel knew that her denial would finish them. She could walk away, never have to-

But she needed to know. One last look. One last talk. Would be all she needed to hear.

_Sweet chariot,_

_come,_

_come,_

_take me away from my fears,_

_Sweet chariot,_

_come,_

_I,_

_have to get out of here._

She rode long and hard that night, through the rain that had begun to pour outside. Her hair was plastered onto her face, and the rain stung her eyes like a thousand bees. She didn't care. She had to know.

Kel slipped into his chambers, and shut the door noiselessly behind her. She padded silently over to his bed, and watched him. His face was so lovely, and he looked so peaceful sleeping there, she shouldn't have come, she would just go-

No. she couldn't-

But she had to-

But-

He opened his eyes.

_Oh,_

_The blood that's in my veins,_

_so cold,_

_and frozen from my pain,_

_Oh,_

_it comes and goes in waves,_

_am I really here?_

He had looked at her, his eyes full of bewilderment, as he rose from the bed.

"I thought you'd left me." he said finally.

"This can't work…your going to be married and-"

"I annulled our engagement."

"What?"

He looked at her, his eyes, once so open, allowing her to read them whenever she pleased, were now a mystery to Kel. "I thought what had happened made something clear to you…it made something clear to me."

Whatever had been hiding his eyes was gone. She saw them, open, hurt, vulnerable, loving. She kissed him, and her world fell to pieces again, and he held her, and made her feel whole, and complete again.

When they made love that night, there were no tears in the morning.

_Sweet chariot,_

_come,_

_come,_

_take me away from my fears,_

_Sweet chariot,_

_can,_

_we,_

_leave him a trail of my tears._

Kel was pulled out of her reverie as he slipped under the covers. She pulled him to her, wondering how tired he was. She fell asleep in his arms, with him stroking her hair; she knew without a doubt, that all of what they had gone through was worth it, even if it was just for this moment.

"I love you" she murmured.

_Sweet chariot,_

_it's been,_

_it's been the longest of years,_

_Sweet chariot,_

_come,_

_I,_

_have to get out of here._

It was so dark. He couldn't see anything. Well, not true, he could see black….some dark blue here and there that outlined a few large shapes. There, however his spectacular view ended But Kel was here, his, in his arms. So in the cover of darkness, he closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you too." and Neal fell asleep; content with his lover in his arms.


End file.
